The Washed Up Lifestyle

Moments in Washed Upness

2010-02-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Haiti or The Goin Green Lifestyle (you can decide)....
Washed Up Niggas do their CD shopping at the Salvation Army.....clothes, coffee mugs and footwear...I can understand.

Portraits of "WASHEDUPNESS"

2010-01-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

Big Collar wit the chest out = "Washed Up"

Falling Asleep AFTER drinking coffee = "Washed up"

"Sisqo......get your mothafukkin ass out here"

2009-12-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

It's early on a Sunday and this shit right here.....these Washed Up Niggas right here!
Please join with me in prater:

Dear Lord Jesus
Please help these niggas accept that their time has come and gone. Word to Moses these niggas need to be saved from themselves and told that NO dude should ever be topless if his chest looks like a 7 year old boy (p). I know you love everyone Jesus....but even you gotta shake your head at these fools. Amen

props to WorldStarHipHop

Just another night in the world of the Washed Up

2009-12-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

Being washed up, any night of the week has the potential to turn out like an episode of "King of Queens". Word to sweatpants with white draw strings and various colors of earth toned tees. What Doug Heffernan means to washed up dudes is what Drake means to tender niggas. If you have ever seen multiple episodes of King of Queens than you are already living the Washed Up Lifestyle and don’t even know it.

Being Washed Up in the Winter is what childhood dreams are made of. Why would I ever want to be a pretty ab muscle having dude (pause) when I can come home at 12:45am and enjoy this? Word to Doug Heffernan!
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And yes.....I did make instant mashed potatoes in the microwave.

Moments in Tenderness

2009-12-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

We here at the Washed Up Lifestyle Blog are declaring war against all things TENDER!........PAUSE (Damn i hate having to say that shit).

Tender Moment of the Day.
Any dude who has been out for a birthday party, bachelor party or nigga just hit at delaware park goon gathering; then you know at least one dude in the group will be willing to do anything for strange sex. I've personally witnessed a man grab the beltloops of girls as they walk past just so he can give them "the eye" yeah this nigga has an "eye". But this weekend I saw a dude carry this drunk chick all the way to her car....not because it was the right thing to do. But because as a washed up dude, you resort to tender moments in order to bag skim skams. Shit it happens to every washed up dude at least once a month.

Pleasure P - Tender Nigga of the Year!

Nigga....come on. See I knew there was something to not be trusted about you blood.
I knew there was something off with those arched eyebrows. Tender Ass Nigga!

Al Reynolds-Tender Nigga of the Century
We dont believe you....you need more people.
Nigga you softer than warm mashmallows (pause)props to Necole Bitchie for the pic
You can wear all the small shirts you want and dance with all the cooter in Miami and we still wont look at you and say "Ol Al is tearing them guts up"
Any man that dresses like this is never to be trusted.

And acording to Twitter here are some of the Washed Up things to #never trust.
From alanajaynesmith #nevertrust a man......yeah that's it.
Yup....what she said.

From PhillyREDMAN #nevertrust anyone under 40 that wears a Kangol
Yup....what he said.

From oOoDeBrAoOo #nevertrust me to hold your weed
#kanyeshrug

From RegularAssRon
#nevertrust a nigga that doesnt have any black friends.....its damn near 2010. You need at least one black co-signer to make it in life. But I could be wrong.

From Faith41110
#nevertrust a nigga who's text msg inbox is always empty.
Yup....what she said.

Portraits of "WASHEDUPNESS"

2009-12-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

A washed up cop at his finest

You know u washed up if this is your shoe selection for a friday night out on town.

Washed Up Niggas cheat Everyday B!

2009-12-02T08:25:00.001-08:00

Ok…I’m not surprised nor do I care that Tiger Woods is like every other dude.
Some facts about Tiger Woods that may or may not be true and may or may not have caused him to end up as the butt of all jokes:

1. Niggas cheat everyday…..Black niggas and White dudes…Cheating is all about space and opportunity. If you have space and the opportunity you will be the dude texting/leaving voicemails talking about “can you take that picture off facebook?”

2. Never trust a washed up nigga that wears rings or bracelets. These niggas CHEAT all the time. Name one black dude with rings not on his ring finger that you can trust……don’t worry ill wait.

3. Tiger Woods’ wife beats him…..and has been beating him for years. Soft dudes do shit like let their wife hit them all in the face region.

4. Washed up dudes write apology letters like this:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

I deleted the rest of this shit....it was too soft for me to even co-sign. SMH

5. Washed Up Niggas and Soft Niggas are one in the same. It’s a part of the game. Don’t leave voicemails and Don’t let yourself end up in pictures….Phones and Cameras are the devil.

I'm starting to become more and more scared of Blonde Women....they are ruthless

Ask a Washed Up Nigga!

2009-11-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

If you have ever spent a Saturday night drinking a box of Wine out of a Subway cup.....YOU ARE WASHED UP!

If you have ever been around someone who has done this to their child......YOU ARE WASHED UP!
Not because you have any control over their parenting skills....but it takes a village to raise a child and you are letting the village idiots treat their seedling like a Shitzsu. Props to @RUSTYMK2

(Pause this whole statement)If you have ever showered at the gym and you are a grown ass man.....YOU ARE WASHED UP! Why u showin off your old balls to the world? I have seen more balls in the gym than I have seen in a Wesley Pipes movie....now that is a damn shame.

If you have ever smelled your socks knowing you just took them off the night before.....and still put them back on for another day.....YOU ARE WASHED UP!

If you still make CD's for nights out on the town and play the first 3 songs over and over and over and over again......You already know.

Hello mothafucka, hey, hi, how ya dorin!

2009-11-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

Damn going green is a bitch....but I wouldn't have it any other way. First I would like to apologize for deceiving y'all. I probably made y'all think that by some divine intervention washed up behaviors have gone un-noticed. We have been busy taking mental notes and iPhone pictures of all the washed upness that has taken place since y'all heard from us last. Disrespectful wedding stories, silk shirts and house slippers in public.....we got it all!

A day in the life of a washed up All-Star.
I have years involved in this lifestyle. I have stories certifying my G….from hooded sweatshirts with coffee stains; to boxers with holes in the crotch. We can go toe to toe and it will be no sweat off my back (pause).
I spent a day being as washed up as possible and taking pictures along the way.
I witnessed a man drink “Drank”

and once the familiar taste of grape soda wore away the after effects kicked in.....the fact that this “Drank” was made for the sole purpose to make you feel like Lil Wayne looks should tell you how this ended up. My homeboy started sweating and turned whiter than Obama's Inauguration 2 Step.

Somehow I ended up at the Mecca of Washed Uppitry Borders Books & Music on a Saturday night. First thing I noticed….wasnt the number of people dressed like this.

It was the fact that romance novels are complete bullshit. Look at the titles of these shits and tell me this isnt the most ignorant pointless nonsense you have ever seen. But someone is buying these “books” and making these authors a killing. If I was going to write a romance novel….I would call it. Baby Moms and Side Jawns volume: There will never be peace.
Oh and I checked out this book by Paul Mooney.....but my ADD kicked in after the first page and all I could think about was going green.

See yall next week.

Durag/Fitted + White tee over Black Tee = Washed Up Lifestyle

2009-11-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

Washed Up Morning activities

2009-03-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

I accomplished all this bullshit before 12pm

1. Watched Kanye West perform Heartless on Yahoo Music and realized....Caucasians still think he is a nigg*r.....They gave him the James Brown, Bobby Brown, Chris Brown treatment....Used him up, washed him up and gave him back....smh

2. Waited until old navy had a 30% off sale to buy anything....$20 for a shirt was just too expensive...i aint sayin the "R" word...but you know what it is.

3. i spent 2 hours looking at this thread....smh
http://niketalk.yuku.com/topic/159338/t/CHOPPA-CITY-LOOK-AT-THIS-DUDES-SUIT-.html

Washed Up Weekend Round Up

2009-02-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

Corporate Niggas using their "interview" voice when the cop approached the car which smelt like Lil Wayne's tour bus. "Officer we weren't doing anything......." = Washed the Fuck Up

A car with a nigga in a sweater, pink shirt and tie, a white girl that would probably knock out half the goons in Delaware, a nigga who stuffed $40 worth of weed into his hightop chuck taylor like he was an extra in Cooley High, a chick that was sending "I miss you" texts all night and a nigga who refuses to wear a coat in 20 degree weather.....all of whom were shouting the lyrics to washed up king DMX's "Stop being greedy" at the top of their lungs = Washed the Fuck Up

A nigga giving me $7.00 to drive him to work = Washed the Fuck Up

A nigga eating wings at a strip club ANYTIME = Washed the Fuck Up

A nigga falling asleep during the Super Bowl and then waking up and going to Denny's for a Milkshake at 1 am =Washed the Fuck Up

Any nigga who is going to see "He's just not that into you" = Washed the Fuck Up....ill be there on Sunday with a Cardigan, a coffee and my washed up sidekick.

*Disclaimer....dont take offense im just a washed up nigga with an opinion and no woman to go home to hahaha

Don't call it a comeback.....

2009-01-28T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have resorted to the ultimate washed up lifestyle.

I wear a grey champion hoody with a ripped pocket.
I wear navy plue sweatpants with tapered ankles.
I havent been to the barbershop in 2 months.
I eat whole weat pancakes for breakfast and dinner.
I have salsa sandwiches for lunch.
I spend my free time watching Lifetime or TLC.
My room smells like full court basketball.

a night in the life of a washed up nigga...

2009-01-22T19:40:00.000-08:00

So after said nigga got done work.....said nigga proceeded to drive to the gas station with tank on "E" and only got $11 worth of gas because regardless of the fact that said nigga's president is black....he is still broke....

After the trip to the gas station said nigga went home and was bored and visited the website for the washed up aka "dating on demand".

After watching 2 episodes of cheaters.....said nigga went out to a bar surrounded by the whitest of white folks.....paranoid as a motherfucker. Said nigga then came home and fell asleep on the couch watching CNN.

All in all a great night of being washed the fuck up!

Random Washed Up Moment 1.22.09

2009-01-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

I'm at the the barbershop......old african man is in here reciting public enemy songs at the top of his lungs...smh

Random Washed up moment 1.19.09

2009-01-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

Was just in Walmart..where all the washed up people go. Not only did I get bread, peanut butter, and jelly...but...the bread was whole grain...

Smh....

"Washed up" Weekend plans......Pt.1

2009-01-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

This weekend its going to be plenty of Inauguration parties. Props to all bars that will be serving drinks called "Obama" and shots called "Barack". What about the washed up folks? Well here's some washed up activities for the people rocking house shoes and pajamas from Friday evening to Monday morning.....

Fuck it. Nothing burns time like playing poker on xbox live and talking to people from Boise. Turn on the Xbox at about 7pm tonight and it should carry u to the next morning easy.

Watch a BET movie. If watching "Fresh" or "Tales from the hood" doesn't put u to sleep quick than i don't know what can.

Go to ya local bar. Not the spot that's popping. Go to the bar all the washed up people go to. So what u got on a hoody & tims and most the people in there got on hunting gear. So what most of these people look like McCain supporters. Go in there, order a beer, drink it, then go back home asap.

Your welcome.

DMX.....washed up artist of the week

2009-01-14T17:21:00.000-08:00

This nigga went from this....
to this......ended up looking like this.....and now his new 'fame is a hellllllllllll of a drug' makeover.....He is rapping while talking and wearing a pink thermal!

Washed Up Reviews for the day 01/14

2009-01-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

Washed Up Fuckery props to Nerd At the Cool Table
I-Phone, Blackberry >>>> Sidekick
Once a 17 yr old girl told me my phone was cute….i decided I needed to upgrade.
Don’t ask why I was engaged in a conversation with a 17 yr old…"what exactly do you mean by teenager?"…SMH

Blackberry Messenger, Twitter>>>>AIM
I rarely use AIM anymore…I hear this blackberry messenger shit is crack from the 80’s! and Twitter is some next level other shit!

Facebook>>>> Myspace
If you are a lurking ass dude Facebook is your parked car. Myspace is washed up…...read this post word to Niketalk...pure comedy, but for real this is a washed up version of online dating hahaha.

Email Arguments>>>>Text Message Arguments
Any time your text message ends up in 2 messages…...send an email. Real Talk. This does not mean that you will get the asnwers you want but at least that way you wont look like a mad man Turbo Texting with aggression.

Ipod/Zune>>>>CD’s of any kind
Nobody is buying CD’s anymore….Unless artists pose naked on their album covers….niggas aint buyin shit. But word to the porn bailout that probably wont even work. And yes I am listening to Jordin Sparks.....What did you expect??? Nigga i'm washed up.

Digital Singles>>>>Albums
Please tell me the last CD that had more than 5 singles….College Dropout and Get Rich or Die Tryin….

Torrents >>>>Limewire
If I even gotta explain what a torrent is….you gotta step your internet thievery game up.

Orbit >>>>5 Gum
Strawberry Mint, Maui Melon Mint crushes 5 Gum…nevermind…this gum just lost its flavor and my breath smells like sour milk. Fuck Orbit and 5 Gum! I pledge allegiance to Trident

Welcome to the Official Washed the Fuck up Blog!

2009-01-12T14:48:00.000-08:00

Word to all things washed up, out of touch with reality and clinging on for dear life. Music, Niggas, Bidges, Bidge azz Niggas, News and Non-sense!

Being Washed Up:

A person who upon initial glance causes you to have this reaction...

A woman who still thinks her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard....
An artist who is still trying to re-create a hit they had 2 summers ago....
Anything that makes no damn sense and lacks proper criminal skills or home training.... Anything that falls into the category as something your uncle with 12 silver chains would do....

Welcome to Washed the Fuck Up!

Washed up Pimps....Bishop Don Juan for looking like a leprechaun.
Check out this nigga hanging a green Motorola Razor from his neck...SMH

and this broke Katt Williams impersonator with the Squirrel Fur Coat and Sweated out Perm...