Moments in Washed Upness

In the spirit of Haiti or The Goin Green Lifestyle (you can decide)....
Washed Up Niggas do their CD shopping at the Salvation Army.....clothes, coffee mugs and footwear...I can understand.

Portraits of "WASHEDUPNESS"

Big Collar wit the chest out = "Washed Up"


Falling Asleep AFTER drinking coffee = "Washed up"

"Sisqo......get your mothafukkin ass out here"

It's early on a Sunday and this shit right here.....these Washed Up Niggas right here!
Please join with me in prater:

Dear Lord Jesus
Please help these niggas accept that their time has come and gone. Word to Moses these niggas need to be saved from themselves and told that NO dude should ever be topless if his chest looks like a 7 year old boy (p). I know you love everyone Jesus....but even you gotta shake your head at these fools. Amen


props to WorldStarHipHop

Just another night in the world of the Washed Up

Being washed up, any night of the week has the potential to turn out like an episode of "King of Queens". Word to sweatpants with white draw strings and various colors of earth toned tees. What Doug Heffernan means to washed up dudes is what Drake means to tender niggas. If you have ever seen multiple episodes of King of Queens than you are already living the Washed Up Lifestyle and don’t even know it.

Being Washed Up in the Winter is what childhood dreams are made of. Why would I ever want to be a pretty ab muscle having dude (pause) when I can come home at 12:45am and enjoy this? Word to Doug Heffernan!

And yes.....I did make instant mashed potatoes in the microwave.

Moments in Tenderness

We here at the Washed Up Lifestyle Blog are declaring war against all things TENDER!........PAUSE (Damn i hate having to say that shit).

Tender Moment of the Day.
Any dude who has been out for a birthday party, bachelor party or nigga just hit at delaware park goon gathering; then you know at least one dude in the group will be willing to do anything for strange sex. I've personally witnessed a man grab the beltloops of girls as they walk past just so he can give them "the eye" yeah this nigga has an "eye". But this weekend I saw a dude carry this drunk chick all the way to her car....not because it was the right thing to do. But because as a washed up dude, you resort to tender moments in order to bag skim skams. Shit it happens to every washed up dude at least once a month.



Pleasure P - Tender Nigga of the Year!

Nigga....come on. See I knew there was something to not be trusted about you blood.
I knew there was something off with those arched eyebrows. Tender Ass Nigga!

Al Reynolds-Tender Nigga of the Century
We dont believe you....you need more people.
Nigga you softer than warm mashmallows (pause)props to Necole Bitchie for the pic
You can wear all the small shirts you want and dance with all the cooter in Miami and we still wont look at you and say "Ol Al is tearing them guts up"
Any man that dresses like this is never to be trusted.



And acording to Twitter here are some of the Washed Up things to #never trust.
From alanajaynesmith #nevertrust a man......yeah that's it.
Yup....what she said.

From PhillyREDMAN #nevertrust anyone under 40 that wears a Kangol
Yup....what he said.

From oOoDeBrAoOo #nevertrust me to hold your weed
#kanyeshrug


From RegularAssRon
#nevertrust a nigga that doesnt have any black friends.....its damn near 2010. You need at least one black co-signer to make it in life. But I could be wrong.

From Faith41110
#nevertrust a nigga who's text msg inbox is always empty.
Yup....what she said.

Portraits of "WASHEDUPNESS"

A washed up cop at his finest




You know u washed up if this is your shoe selection for a friday night out on town.

Washed Up Niggas cheat Everyday B!

Ok…I’m not surprised nor do I care that Tiger Woods is like every other dude.
Some facts about Tiger Woods that may or may not be true and may or may not have caused him to end up as the butt of all jokes:

1. Niggas cheat everyday…..Black niggas and White dudes…Cheating is all about space and opportunity. If you have space and the opportunity you will be the dude texting/leaving voicemails talking about “can you take that picture off facebook?”

2. Never trust a washed up nigga that wears rings or bracelets. These niggas CHEAT all the time. Name one black dude with rings not on his ring finger that you can trust……don’t worry ill wait.


3. Tiger Woods’ wife beats him…..and has been beating him for years. Soft dudes do shit like let their wife hit them all in the face region.

4. Washed up dudes write apology letters like this:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

I deleted the rest of this shit....it was too soft for me to even co-sign. SMH

5. Washed Up Niggas and Soft Niggas are one in the same. It’s a part of the game. Don’t leave voicemails and Don’t let yourself end up in pictures….Phones and Cameras are the devil.

I'm starting to become more and more scared of Blonde Women....they are ruthless